Ever since I landed in Chicago, I am trying to compare different parameters of USA with India to get an idea of how different the life is going to be here. Though is it about the place really? Or it's the people? Till now in my experience, the latter is a more appropriate point of judgement.
Yeah, the food isn't great here. There are almost no spices that match any taste buds we developed in India since childhood! But you get all the Indian grocery that you may need to prepare any dish exactly the same as it's made at your home. Still people don't show much passion for cooking their own recipes and trying out new dishes. Sure, being busy and lacking the skillset are two understandable reasons for it. But I think there's even a third reason, which may be implicit but important. The tradition of cooking and or eating together, with a room full of people that know you well — which is generally the case at home — is not followed here because of each individual's different routine. Most of the time having food plays a role only of a tummy-filler instead of a mood setter or a cherished activity.
Now there are luxuries that we crave for in our country, like cars and big houses or fancy gadgets etc. "Some day," I have heard this phrase from most people back there. Everyone aspires for one or all of these. Here, most of them are necessities — can't believe it! My professor when I met him, couldn't stand the idea that I don't have a car and will have to manage without it for a year or two. This, despite the free bus service that Purdue offers their students to go around the entire Lafayette city! It's the mindset here plus the standard of living that turns your thought process in the same direction as theirs.
Like back there, family time and values were not at all a luxury. We have that in abundance, but here, it is a luxury! Most of the "free/independent" kids that I have seen in two weeks here, all manage on their own and having good relations with their parents and relatives is considered a luxury! It's like somebody just flipped a coin or did some "Uno-reverse" on the society here. It is really surprising.
Not everything is different though. I thought it would be difficult to create new contacts in a foreign country compared to some university/institution back in India. Turns out, you just have to start a dialogue at most places and your contacts will grow as you speak. At least in a university environment, I have experienced this — that people also want to talk with others and get to know different cultures. They are as much curious as you are, just nobody is starting any conversation without a reason. If you find reasons around you, you will stay extrovert irrespective of the place, I feel.
The same happened, as some conversations started in campus, some did in the apartment complex and others in the journey i.e. bus stops etc. Now two weeks down the road, I have spoken with people from 6 or 7 different countries already, who have also come here for studying, and had a meaningful conversation with them for a while. Hope this circle grows further but I am not that worried now as much I was while coming here because now I know it happens naturally if we just start a conversation.
But the nature of problems here is very different though. They are the most basic ones — like unfiltered water and unavailable labour. When we started living in the apartment, we had a few guests who didn't have a place to stay till their lease started. So we let them and turns out a few days later we ourselves were almost out of a place to live! We had a flea/bug problem in our apartment and because of no furniture/bed we had to pack everything again and stay somewhere else till the landlord did a pest control. There I understood the distinction between an urban-city and a rural one is not at all specific but it's a global phenomenon. Glad that problem got sorted out sooner than we thought and we even arranged a party in our apartment complex later inviting the people we helped plus some who helped us! It was fun of course, no need to mention that!
The most strange observation is the discipline though — they actually follow the rules! Who on earth would have thought that someone would actually follow the rules that are made for them to make their own life easier, but here people do it! And maybe mannerism is just the part of their discipline or vice-versa, because even when you won't have a great day in USA you will have 50 people wishing you for it, wherever you go! Here it is maybe difficult to recognise whether it's an automated voice we are talking to or a real person because both are that polite and well-mannered.
Last but not the least, that is different from your own country and USA, is your self! In India, I used to spend enough time with myself — how much ever was necessary. But here, there's too much of myself. I am sure many international students would agree to this feeling that we aren't that interesting to spend so much time with self. It gets boring after a while! This is one major contributor I think, when people feel the change in themselves after living alone, because you just aren't the same. The habits, the interests and the emotions, they just change every day and there's no way to document or record your "self" at a particular moment or day or month — so one can only access the latest version and live with it!
All being said, the experience is really special and it is very exciting to explore all these opportunities and learn so much from the steps that you take while you are at it. Especially when you have had a good start now, it's a great feeling knowing that "oh, it's manageable after all". All the reasons of coming to USA seem to be justified after seeing the facilities here and the depth of research that goes on in an open discussion environment with a lot of freedom. Managing the emotions, with family and friends at a distance, is just the one thing we have to handle well and rest is all merry! Hopeful to explore more and evolve as and with the moments... So let's cherish these!